Ellen, 44 and a mother of three lovely children, came to me for help with energy, weight gain, and "low motivation". She had seen a doctor friend of mine, who discovered low testosterone and had put her on a low-dose testosterone replacement regimen. This seemed to be helping some, but she still felt out of sorts. So, he referred her to me for general wellness care.
When I first met her, I was immediately struck with how sweet and sincere she was. She didn't mince words about some of the difficulties she experienced in her personal life, and she had a pretty good handle on how these might be affecting her adversely. She also had a sense that she was just not able to pull herself out of the lingering fatigue and lack of motivation she had been recently experiencing. It was bigger than just "picking herself up by the bootstraps" and making the most out of things. This was something physiological.
So, she embarked on her journey to improve her quality of life. This is one of the things I love about what I do. I don't see a lot of truly "sick" people (although when I do it is always an amazing experience helping them). I mostly see people who are not feeling well, who know something is "out of sorts", and who often have tried conventional medicine with limited or no success. To me, it is an absolute honor and privilege to be a catalyst for these people to get back on track with their lives. When they start to feel better, and are able to enjoy life again, this is something that to me is just priceless.
So, back to Ellen's story. After our intake, where I listened to all her symptoms, and her description of the flow of her life, it became apparent to me that Ellen suffered from something that drugs could not cure. This didn't mean she was hopeless. Far from it. In fact, all Ellen had to do was start collecting her energy back inward towards herself.
Ellen has three young children. The youngest was a surprise, and is about 5 years younger than the next older sibling. Just like any other conscientious mother, Ellen puts a lot of time and effort into raising her children. On top of that, she is also very active in non-profit work and frequently attends social gatherings. She admitted early on in our work together that she was the kind of person that was always there for others.
The problem was that Ellen, after so many years of sending her energy out towards other people's causes and needs, had forgotten to give something back to herself.
Life is energy. It's that simple. So, when we think of it this way, it makes a lot of things easier to understand. Every minute that Ellen was focusing on someone else, her energy was moving out and away from her. In some cases, that energy gets reflected back and we actually have a net gain of energy. This is what happens when we feel the thrill of watching our child succeed at something we have put a lot of effort into helping them with. Or, when we give something to somebody as a gift and see their happiness and joy, and this makes us feel good.
But, there are many, many ways to spend our energy where we really don't get much -- or anything -- back in return. Social gatherings can be draining, especially when we are doing them more out of "obligation". Even doing charity work, while honorable, can start to drain our energy as we can overextend ourselves even into this arena if we are not careful.
So, my main focus with Ellen was two-fold:
1) Get her to see and acknowledge how her life was draining her energy, and
2) Support her foundational energy as it was recovering from years of high outflow and low return
This all didn't happen overnight. It took some time for me to even get Ellen to buy into the fact that her life needed to change if she wanted to feel better. And, I'm not sure she ever "explicitly" agreed with me. But, something amazing happened after about 8 weeks which let me know that she was well on the road to solving her issue.
She came in for her weekly visit, sat down, and told me that she had decided to quit her job to start her own business.
If that doesn't indicate increased motivation and energy, I don't know what does.
She had always wanted to start this business because it involves something she has a passion for. But quitting her job was scary to her because she was afraid of how her employer (and friend) would react to her resignation.
Now, however, she saw clearly that this was the direction she needed to go, and she was ready to move.
After I heard this, I told her, "Well, looks like we're done." And, I was serious. On the part with increased energy and motivation, we are certainly finished. Now, we just have to maintain it, and make sure to nurture it along as it continues to grow.
She is still coming to work on losing some weight (which, as many of us know, takes a bit of motivation as well). And, every time I see her I think about how far she's come in such a short amount of time.
The moral of this story is that the life change itself is the medicine. She is moving out on her own, doing something creative that involves her passion. This is a way of giving back to herself that I'm not sure she's ever experienced. On top of that, through our work together she now has a handle on the fact that she can't spread herself too thin, that she HAS to keep checking in with herself to make sure what she is giving back to herself is in balance with what she is giving out to others.
She will falter again, we all do. But, now when she starts to get out of balance she will have the tools and knowledge to do something about it, to receive that "life medicine" that only SHE can give to herself.
Chris Axelrad, M.S.O.M., L. Ac., FABORM, director of the Axelrad Clinic for Natural Women's Healthcare, is a recognized expert in women's health, natural treatment of hormone imbalance, and fertility enhancement using Traditional Chinese Medicine integrated with conventional medical knowledge. He is known for his easy-going manner and sincere compassion for his patients. Mr. Axelrad provides coaching and support to patients across the country via his remote treatment programs, and he also maintains a busy full-time specialty clinical practice in Houston, TX. Visit the clinic website to schedule your free 30-minute initial consultation.
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